You may want something good but are you ready?

People say all the time "I want a real relationship", " I want real love", "I want a good man", "I want a good woman"... etc. Question is, are you ready or prepare to handle and keep something good? People always want what they are not ready to have, or crave something they don't intend to keep. Then what happens is someone ends up heart broken, disappointed, upset, or changed. Changed meaning their whole thinking gets screwed up, like they proclaim to themselves "I don't deserve to have something good"... "all men are dogs"... "all women are sluts"... " I can't trust anyone"... I hate commitment"... etc. And what happens is what you think becomes your reality. Every guy you meet will be that lying, cheating dog in a disguise. And every women you meet will be the undercover slut. Or every relationship you get will be trustless and never committed.

You can want all you want but if you are not emotionally, mentally, physically, and spiritually ready... It won't last forever. Someone in the relationship will feel unsatisfied or unfulfilled. Someone will change who you thought they were right before your eyes. Some will run from that great relationship. Some will continue to lie and cheat causing destruction to that relationship. Why because they may have wanted what they got and wasn't ready for it or their thinking was above^ and they got exactly what they believed to be true.

All is dysfunctional and for love or anything to work or last your whole being have to be ready. Here's a example: most people want to win the lottery, some people do but are they ready to win millions of dollars? The majority that win are not, that's why the majority that wins the lottery (millions of dollars) are in debt by the next year. Now the ones that remain rich with their winnings are the ones that were already rich in their life. They already felt rich in their job, family, love... So when they won millions of dollars, they didn't blow through that money but continue as if they didn't win at all. Why? Because they already felt rich in life (completely ready on all levels). So they were already rich before they became rich, which kept them rich. Get it?

If you want something, change your thinking, believe in every inch of your being that you can have it. Then do the inner work. Start preparing for what you want. Get ready on all levels (emotionally fit to handle what you want, physically capable to deal with what you want, mentally stable to function with what you want, and spiritually tune into yourself &God for strength/guidance).

It take work to prepare for what you want, to get what you want, and to keep what you want. It's out there and you can have it. Just truly believe you can get it. Do the inner and outer work and love the journey and yourself. Anything is possible. Anything good is already yours once you believe that it is. Preparation and patience beautiful people, you can get what you want and keep it forever.
Until next time:)

I thought I was detached from him:(

I'm ready to admit to myself that there is still a great deal of attachment that I have to my ex. I've realized this a long time ago but wanted to deny it to myself. I've spent four years with this guy so I would say it could be normal to still have some form of attachment left. But that is not true, the bonds between us is still not completely broken, meaning I'm not completely moved on. If a person can alter your mood or emotions by his or her words or actions, he/she still have control over you. Just like if you are in a relationship and your ex can cause emotions to arise in you, good or bad, you are not over them.

Now my ex causes my mood to go down, makes me feel sad, makes me feel jealousy, makes me mad, makes me feel guilty, makes me feel hurt, frustrated, just to name some. That's alot for an ex to be able to do.

No person, I don't care who they are, should have that much power over you emotionally, spiritually, physically or mentally to cause a shift in yourself. And the only reason he has this power over me emotionally is because I allow him to. So why am I allowing him this power? My attachment to him is still there and I still care about him. But it's possible to care about someone but not be attach. I can care about his well being but he shouldn't be able to rob me of my happiness.

I need to do more inner work because I have to heal the reason why I am allowing him this power. I truly want him to be happy in his life but I can't allow this to continue with me. I have to detach and it may be hard to find the root but I will never be the happiest I can be unless only I alone can control the power to my emotions.
Until next time:)

Poem: What is this?

When I see your face, I can't help but smile.
The simple pressure of your lips upon mines is unbearable.
The heat from your arms around me causes me to burn inside.
The touch of your hands relaxes my marathon mind.
The sweet truth in your scent makes me breathe clarity.
But I'm scare, terrified, what is this?
Is this real? Or just another tale of heartbreak?
But when I see your face, I can't help but smile because I'm no longer afraid.

I can't control my body around you.
The passionate kisses erases the pain.
The look in your eyes heals my heart.
The sucks on my neck accelerates my pulse.
The love in your fingers as you run them through my hair makes me weak.
But I'm scare, confused, what is this?
Is this only sexual? Or could it blossom into true love?
But when I see your face, I can't help but smile because I'm no longer in doubt.

I don't like not speaking to you.
The hurt I felt when you said goodbye was misery.
The talks on the phone even the silent ones are cherished.
The texts you send are like sunshine.
The voice you have is irresistible to my ears.
But I'm scared, detaching, what is this?
Are we best friends? Or will you just take this away again?
But when I see your face, I can't help but smile because I'm attached to you.

I'm not your girl. We both are single.
Our relationship can cause pain and destroy friendships.
Neither one of us want to take that risk but we can't fight it either.
Our hearts are pumping but our brains are lacking the blood supply.
The tension, the frustration, the fear is weighing on us.
But I'm scared, there's no commitment, what is this?
Are we friends? Secret lovers? Or just two people that will never be nothing more then this?
But when I see your face, "what is this?" disappears and I know that we just might be meant to be and nothing in this world can stop that but time. So I can't help but to smile because you are smiling back at me.

How do you know you've found your soulmate?

I would say, once you feel absolutely complete, you have found your soulmate. Complete in the sense, you are in love, blissfully happy, in a healthy relationship, have great communication, and y'all make each other better... You have found that special love. Relationships are suppose to cause two people to grow individually and together as one...if your love relationship has done that you probably found your soulmate. But most importantly, the love shouldn't cause you or your partner pain ever, yes... you will have disagreements & arguments but you will never feel pain with that person. Because a soulmate bond is based on pure love and that type of love is only found by few and that love is always incredible.

I don't believe in the fairytale theory about soulmates anymore, that there is only one soulmate for each person. I believe there are many soulmates out there for each of us and they don't have to just be lovers... They can be your best friend or a family member, I also believe sometimes we never meet them. I believe love sometimes blinds our logic from what we should have and we often end up with someone that is less than what we deserve. I believe to find your soulmate you have to be prepared mentally, emotionally, physically, and even spiritually to deal with such an intense love. You cannot be unevolved in love (immature) to find your soulmate, just like you can't be broken from past relationships. You will only find your soulmate when you are completely whole inside & out.

To be whole completely is a challenge, it starts with alot of forgiving and finding yourself. Constantly cleaning your inner being from hurt, pain, and insecurity. If you are not completely in love with yourself, you will never love anyone with your all or find anyone that can love you the way you need and want to be loved. That's why very few find their soulmate because most people don't want to do the inner work in themselves first. They just want this big extraoridinary love to show up not realizing they probably won't be able to hold on to it.

Even if you never find your soulmate, you can still find a great love. To find and keep any type of love, I can't stress enough how important it is to heal from past pain or to do some soul searching or learn to fall in love with yourself. The secret to a great relationship is... It start with you as an individual. And if or when you find your soulmate, everything will seem brighter and better & you will just know deep inside. Your love for them will be unreal... Like never before and never again:)

Favorite quote: "there is only one happiness in life, to love and be loved"

Until next time:)

If he or she is controlling is that love?

Love is freedom, not constriction. But nevertheless, some people only feel loved when they are being controlled and some people use control as an expression of their love. Either way, both ways are dysfuntional to express or give love. But is it love? I would say no but if both, you and your partner are happy in that type of relationship then I wish you the best. But if one is unhappy in that type of relationship then you will never be happy as the time passes.

Control is insecurity, the root of insecurity is fear. You will never have a healthy relationship when the foundation is built on fear. If your man or woman feels he/she have to control your every thought, move, life... it's not that he/she wants to protect you or keep you safe, he/she is trying to shelter you into the existance he or she feels you should have. He/she is trying to take your worth, your self confidence, and everything else including other friendly relationships, social life, privacy... Everything that you allow them to control.

Control also has to do with trust issues... Either they don't trust you or themselves. If they (he/she) is a cheater then clocking your every move will ensure them you will never find out what he/she is doing behind your back. Now if they don't trust you then clocking your every move ensure him/her you are never cheating on them. Either way, it's dysfunctional... You will never have a healthy loving relationship without absolute trust in each other.

You should be able to have a life outside your relationship. Do not mistake control or possessiveness as love because it doesn't come from love. You are not property and you do not belong to anyone. But also remember people have feelings, you cannot cheat and lie all the time and expect not to hurt people in the process. If you are not ready for commitment with another, stay out of relationships. If you feel the need to control someone or be controlled, do some inner reflection and find out why do you feel that way. To fix dysfunction, you have to fix what needs healing inside yourself to be functional for another. Love doesn't hurt, it never has and it never will.
Until next time:)

Wanting functional in a dysfunctional situation

Everybody wants love, friendship, a career, a home, a family... To sum it up... Everyone wants abundance in every area of their life. But have you ever thought about the dysfunction that you are living with in your life? Could that dysfunction be preventing you from getting the stable, functioning things you want?

Well I can only speak on my dysfunction that's preventing me from getting what I want. Like true love... I know some do not believe in true love anymore but I believe therefore it's possible for me to acquire it. But back to the subject, I want true, lasting, blissful love. My whole process of finding myself over a year ago was to step back from my not so great relationship with my ex and find out why I allowed myself to be treated so badly. I've discovered this truth that I was seeking and now know why.

But somehow unexpectedly, I've become so enticed in feelings of romance and friendship a couple of months ago, I forgot something crucial. All romantic developments will end abruptly because of the dysfunctional situation I live in. No guy can accept or deal with my living arrangement, at first they might understand it but ultimately in the end they will leave me. I can't say I can blame them because at the end of the day, it's a hard situation to deal with. So I may want functional but I'm living as if I love dysfunctional. Actions are louder to the universe than words.

I live with acceptance of my situation which prevents me to want to change it faster. I want a great job but don't look for one like I should. I want my own apartment but need a good job to get the apartment. My dysfunctional situation is pushing all the functional things away that want to enter into my life. So what do I do? Well I know what I need to do but fear of change is stopping me, or I'm allowing it to stop me from making the necessary changes that are inevitable.

I wish I could just win the jackpot, that would make things so simple. But I know this falls all on me, every single step. My emotional and physical attachments are whats holding me here but spiritually I know I have to eventually leave to evolve into what I want to become. I've grown so much spiritually because spiritual growth only happens within but if you want changes on the outside you have to do that outwardly. Dysfunction disappears when you want it to from the changes you make.

I know what I have to do, truth is I've always known what I needed to do. But the question to myself is when will I do it?

Until next time:)

Poetry: I hurt him...

Sometimes I hurt people unintentionally, most people do. I chose to forgive in love and by that action it cause hurt. My choice to forgive was my decision to follow the path of love that my spiritual journey has taught me. Now I understand most people can not comprehend forgiving horrible situations. I use to think like that too but what I've learned is forgiveness is for yourself. I reside now in a different place of consciousness, I live in a state of love. No one can take away anything from me because only I can give it meaning. No one can hurt me unless I give them permission to. No one can take my humanity or dignity unless I say that they can. My inner strength is way stronger than my physical being. My heart is good and my kindness exceeds my hurt.

He didn't understand how I could forgive so quickly. He felt I let it go too easily. But what he doesn't understand is forgiveness isn't timed, & letting go isn't hard unless you want it to be. He thinks I'm lost but I think I've found what I've been missing. He thinks I've lost my logic but I think spiritually I'm logically sound. He thinks I'm stuck but inside I'm free.

But nevertheless, he felt hurt and I have to respect that. I hurt his heart, I hurt his expectations, I hurt his emotions, I caused discomfort. I didn't know I would, I didn't think I could, I never wanted to... But I did. My apology wasn't enough, I wish it was. He wants me out of his life, I have no choice but to obey. He wants things to go back to when he didn't know me personally, but it can't.

I hurt him... Not personally but emotionally without even knowing. I caused him discomfort in the area around his heart, the place I promise never to. I caused him emotional instability because he took on the hurt & pain I abandon. I caused confliction in his mind from "what ifs". I burden his heart with feelings, wanted or unwanted. I told him not to fall in love with me but I think he did.

But nevertheless, he felt hurt and I have to understand that. I hurt his trust in himself, I hurt his knowingness, I hurt his hopes, I caused pain. I didn't know I would, I didn't think I could, I never wanted to... But I did. Trying to make it better wasn't enough, I prayed it was. He wants to erase me, I have no choice but to erase him. He wants the life back which didn't include me, but he can't.

I hurt him... Not on purpose but through his feelings unconsciously. I caused him doubt about me, when I never wanted to be a mistake. I caused him to wish me away because he didn't want to have feelings for me anymore. I caused fear in his head from past experiences. I burden his mind with confusion, wanted or unwanted. I told him not to worry, that he wouldn't get hurt, but I think he did.

He didn't understand my heart, the goodness that pumps through it, he felt I'm too nice. But he doesn't realize that's what attracted him to me. He wanted a woman that was kind, sweet, and nice. He thinks I'm not prepare for the life we want, but that's all I've been preparing for. He thinks circumstances ruin things, but nothing is ruin for me. He thinks waiting for me is a waste of time, but waiting on a woman like me is never a mistake.

But nevertheless, he felt hurt and I have to forgive myself for that. I will miss his smile. I will miss his hugs. I will miss his lips. I caused this to go away. I didn't know I would, I didn't think I could, I never wanted to... But I did. Spending time together wasn't enough, I hoped it was. I cherished the moments we shared, but they are only past memories now. I treasured our conversations of best friends, but I have to embrace the silence now.

I hurt him... So me and him can no longer exist.
I hurt him... Never willingly, unexpectedly, apologetically.
I hurt him... Therefore, in the end I hurt myself.

Forgiveness

Most people get confused with understanding what forgiveness is all about, they often think forgiveness means accepting a person apology or just forgetting what one done to you. The meaning of forgiveness is beyond that in every shape and form, it's one of most beautiful things you can give to yourself. Yes, yourself... The meaning of Forgiveness is for You. To forgive is to release yourself of pain, hurt, & burden. To put love and compassion back into your heart and to let go of what you can't change, to give life to tomorrow.

Forgiveness is acceptance that life goes on after hurt, after fear, after pain. It's acceptance to what is. It's acceptance that our fellow humans make mistakes. It's acceptance that love is the only way. Forgiveness is forgiving yourself for allowing such circumstances to happen but knowing those circumstances do not control you or the life you choose to live on this Earth. Forgiveness is not saying you are forgetting what happen but more of you are acceptancing what has happen and choosing to live in love anyway. That, what has happen does not break you but make you wiser in your quest.

You cannot change what people decide to do with their actions, you can only control your reaction to those decisions. Those reactions that you make decide if you want to move forward in love or fear... If you choose fear, which you have every right to choose, then you will not forgive, you will live in hate, you will hold grudges, you will live in anger and unhappiness, you will cut yourself off from others, & you may regret that decision later in life. Fear is not accepting, fear is what is killing our Earth, fear is what is causing us to disconnect from our love. Fear is isolation, fear kills your humanity, fear eventually kills you... The beautiful life you have to offer to others just by being in their presence.

Its okay to feel hurt at first, it's not in your best interest to dwell in the hurt for months or years to come. It only hurts you in the long run, not them. For their life will keep moving while yours stay at a stand still. Letting go is releasing their hold on you, it's releasing your pain. Living in love is knowing what may come your way big or small, bad or horrible, it came for a reason bigger than you & for your own waking up. In life things constantly come into your existence to evolve you into who you are meant to be. It's your choice to evolve or not to, to grow in love or disappear in fear. Forgiveness is love, you can change the course of your journey just by forgiving others which ultimately in the end is yourself.

Until next time:)

Is it time to start dating again?

Dating is a tricky subject for me because I don't want to date just to date and then again I miss that closeness of ones hugs. But with dating comes the drama of someone else's life that you have to accept or the attachment to their affection. You have to deal with their baggage or trust issues that has nothing to do with you. You have to constantly stare at the fear in their eyes of another bad relationship approaching. Or the continuous game playing or tests to prove your worthiness for their love.

Dating use to be about fun and excitement of just getting to know each other. No obligations, just pure one on one fun.

Do I want to go through that? No, I don't. After over a year of celibacy and singleness I don't want drama or fights, just peace & freedom. I don't want to play with anyone's emotions or feelings, I don't want to complicate my life or anyone else's. It took one relationship to show me pain, uncertainty, and how much tears I'm capable of shedding. But it also taught me how loyal and devoted I could be, and how hard I will fight and sacrifice to stay. I never want to be careless or give up my happiness just so I don't have to say goodbye. When I give someone my heart it's for them to cherish it or beat it down. I've went through a year of transformation in a process called "finding myself" and in that process I've found my heart again, I've found my innocence, I've found my soul. I love myself again for the person I am. I'm proud of that and I will not let anyone take that away again ever.

Another reason why I don't think I'm ready, has to do with maybe me being a Taurus. My sometimes possessing nature. I don't share with anyone. If you are with me than you are with me. Problem with that is I'm not willing to make that commitment yet so it would be wrong for me to ask that of someone else.

So am I ready? No, I don't think I am.
Until next time:)

Dear Gosford Millington

This wonderful funny man named Gosford Tyler Millington died of cancer December 19,2009. I never knew this, I just found out & I'm heartbroken that I was not there for him. I've literally been crying my eyes out because I did not know he died. I'm sorry Gosford that I was not there for you mi amor, I'm sorry you died without me knowing. I'm sorry that all I have to give right now is sorrow, regret, and tears. I wish I could've been a better friend to you, I wish I'd stayed present in your life. I wish you had more time here so I could love you and be there for you like you wanted. I'm sorry for being naive and blind to your feelings. I'm sorry I couldn't be more to you. I'm sorry I ignored your love for me. I'm sorry you're gone. I miss you, I love you, I'm sorry. I hope you are in peace, I hope you are experiencing true joy now, I hope God is shining upon you his everlasting love. I hope you see me & know I'm sorry for not being there to hold your hand. Your presence was felt in my life & you made me happier with your smile & your love. I hope I gave you happiness while u were here. May God bless and keep your soul in heaven, & watch over me when u can. I love you Gosford, I wish I told u that before you left this Earth. Your laughter and silliness will always remain in my heart forever. Goodbye my angel;(

Work on you

You may feel lonely. You may want love now. But what would be the point if you can't keep the love you want to have? To work on yourself means to fix the flaws you already have. To heal from the damage and pain from you past. Also, to learn to truly love the inside and outside of yourself.

The loneliness may be tough to handle and seeing others coupled up may make you feel like you are missing out. But that's when you have to make the decision... Do you want something short term or something long term? If you want something long term then it will take time but will be well worth the wait. Now, if you feel unhappy alone and don't want to get to the bottom of why you feel that way then do what will make you happy. If that means sex or being with anyone then maybe you are not ready for real love.

I think if you cannot feel happy, fulfilled, and loved alone, then you will not feel those emotions in a relationship. Real love is two individuals that are already complete in themselves that come together whole. Love isn't about finding something that you are lacking in yourself in another because that would mean you are leaching off the person. Love have nothing to do with taking as much as you can get from that person, it's about giving to that person unconditionally.

The best thing you can do for yourself is to work on you. The best thing you can do for your future mate is to be already complete and in love with yourself. Because if you are already in love with yourself, you will be irresistible in every way.

Cheating: The Man Prospective

So I was talking to a real cheater and he informed me of some interesting information. And I got to admit, it made sense. I'm talking about men that take care of home, bills, their kids, are in a relationship with one women for years or even married types of men. So No... i'm not talking about younger guys (see older posts on cheating) i'm talking about older cheaters. Okay now i'll share.

A man seriously could love everything about you and truly love you. He can love the home ya'll built together, the children ya'll made together, the life ya'll have together. You can think you're doing everything to make him happy. And he can be doing everything to make you happy. But you find out or suspect another female and wonder why would he destroy everything to cheat? Simple,  men don't think like you.

Men have several reasons for cheating but theres nomore than four. But we are talking about older men so two. 1. He's unsatisfied, 2. Fetishes. I know how that sounds but keep reading.

If he is unsatisfied, it has nothing to do with love, he will seek else where. His heart may belongs to you but his pleasure doesn't. Females can put the needs of her family before hers but guys can't, it's that simple. If the sex is boring, he's going to want fun, spontaneous sex. New vagina bets old vagina any day. If ya'll have sex once a week, he's not satisfied. If he loves oral sex and you're bad or okay, he's not satisfied. And this have nothing to do with if he's satisfying you. See, he's not going to tell you after years of togetherness what you are doing wrong. He rather go find it else where instead of coming to you for you just to get mad. That's an unwanted arguement. No woman wants to be told that she's doing something wrong or she's not enough. So he's not going to tell you. He probably told you in the beginning but as time pass, life got hecked. You use to do stuff you don't do now... you're tired. Or he never told you what he wanted sexually like you didn't. So he will cheat to get the pleasure he think about all day, that you are not giving to him. And he won't tell you because he don't want you to leave him.

Fetishes. Now if he like long hair and you chop you hair off to get a halle berry look. You may look cute but he may cheat with a long hair chick until you're hair grow back. If he likes feet and your feet look like grandma's, he may cheat with a girl with pretty feet. If he want someone with ambition and you rather be a mom or lazy, he may get a side chick who's ambitious. If he loves a thick girl and you turned into an overly obese super thick girl, he may cheat with a skinnier chick. If he likes a different nationality and you're his race, he may cheat with a spanish, asian, or white chick. If he loves porn and you made him get rid of it, he may have a secret stash or may be making personal porn with another chick. If he likes sexy lingerie and you wearing laundry day draws, he may cheat with a chick that only wear thongs. But with fetishes he wants to experience it but he knows where home is. Meaning, he love his fetish but love you more. Like chocolate, you don't want it everyday, just sometimes.

Most guys will risk everything just to get these two things including you. Dumb yes, understanding... I get it. Questions leave below lol.
Until next time:)

Are females quick to move on?

There are two possible answers to that question. Yes, if you where lacking at something but treat her fairly well. No, if you treated her bad and that was why ya'll parted. I know that sound weird but it's also true... maybe with a few exceptions. I'll explain why.

If you treated her well and you consider yourself a good boyfriend to her. But ya'll broke up from let's say... technical difficulties. And you and her weren't broken up that long but she's already dating again. Now you're thinking "really... that fast?". She moved on to someone else "that fast" because she was missing something extremely bad. Missing what? Let's see... satisfying sex, a listening ear, fun, passionate kisses, one on one time, basis human attention, romance, or she wanted out (fear). You may say, "hey, I gave her that", yea but not to the best of your ability. How do I know? Because, it's the way of life now, you start to get so comfortable with each other that things start to fade. The once a week nights out turns into once a whenever I feel like it, the long steamy makeout sessions turns into tap kisses, the I want to hear everything turns into not now... i'm busy, saying "I love you" 10x or more a day turns into ''I love you, goodnight". Things change and we females crave that, it never stops even after years of being with you. So if you stopped doing what you did in the beginning when you wanted to hook us, when it's over she's going to try to find that as quick as possible (with someone else of course).

Now I mention she might've wanted out because of fear. Males are not the only one with commitment issues. Some females can be with you for years but once you bring up marriage, she's gone. Then theres some females who will even go through an engagement and seem happy. But the longer she engaged the more shes thinking, which in the end shes still gone. It's called fear of being with one man for the rest of her life. The non-fairytale syndrome.

Now, if you were a horrible boyfriend... cheated, lied, disrespectful, etc. When ya'll break up she won't be so quick to move on. Reason being she scared she will meet another you. So pretty much it may take alot of months even years to trust another guy. Dating around and actual relationship are to different things. So relationship wise it will take awhile. And if she got children... maybe even decades.
Until next time:)

How to get past a Heartbreak

Sometimes heartbreaks are tramatic and very painful. Also, the healing time vary from person to person. It's impossible to try to fix or heal your broken heart with words or instructions because everyone is different. So the cold turkey method mention in earlier posts, will not help your heart (it will just break the attachments).

I think there's only three things that can happen from a broken heart. You fall into a form of depression (lose yourself), Move on and let go (find someone new or yourself), or Find a way to cover up the pain (Unhealthy activities or substances). Of course, the best option is moving on because your heart is broken for a reason. But sometimes there's no one new or you just don't want a new relationship just yet. What to do?

Well I say work on yourself. Maybe being single can give you time to adjust the things that are out of line in your life. Try to fix the reasons to why your heart is broken or why your relationship went down hill in the first place. Finding yourself and enhancing the qualities that need work inside, only betters you within. Jumping from relationships doesn't solve the core problems that only you can fix, so let go and then work on yourself. If you become a great person from the inside out, you will only attract someone that is also great, probably finally giving you the relationship you really crave. Find yourself, work on yourself, become a better person for yourself....others... and in your life.
Until next time:) 

Love: the greatest emotion

Every human being on this planet is in search for some form of love. We crave the feeling of that emotion like an addiction. We look in the good places for it and sometimes in the bad. We almost always misinterpet it or mistake it for other emotions and coping agents. Such as... Lust, infatuation, approval, attention, addiction, ect.

What is love? Love is the greatest emotion you'll ever feel. Love causes a feeling that is sheer bliss, extreme happiness, overwelming joy, unbelievable pleasure, fulfillment..... Sometimes it feels so incredible it's indescribable. Love puts one at a state of peace, at a frequency that is at equilibrium with ones inner self. But the highest form of love is sacrificial love in which Jesus gave his life for our sins.

I've learned our bodies seriously break down due to unhappiness, stress, and worry. Why? Because that is not our natural state to be in. We are a creation from love.... we are happiest and healthy when we are on that frequency. Only we can decide when we want to let go and be peaceful and happy. Doing happy activities that are pure of love get us to that level of happiness. Learning to free your mind of stress and burden take us to that level of peace. It's not easy and it's a personal journey but well worth it. You can live in freedom.You have to complete YOU before you can help others and add other elements of love into your life.

Why do we crave love? Well, unfortunately we haven't realize that the love we need resides in us. How so? If God gave us his only begotten son because he loves us so much... shouldn't we be in love with ourself just as much as God is in love with us? It's God Love and Self Love combine we need. But it's one of thoses loves that we are missing in our lives. For one to feel complete one must have both, not one but both. When you only have one you begin to search for your other half because you are still incomplete. Other half meaning soulmate, mate, lover, drug, addiction, people, family, lust... it goes on. Ok let me explain: You can worship God and be obedient to the word, proving your love and you love God with all your heart. Or you can love yourself alot and bearly believe in God. Or you can say I'm in love with myself and God but still feel miseriable sometimes. It's because you're still missing the key point... being in love with God is being in love with yourself. God is apart of you deep in your soul/spiritual being as God is in everything. God is not limited to a name that's why no one knows his true name, just like God is not limited to he or she...God is a being beyond our comprehension. God is a spiritual being with no boundaries to our earthly existence. 

To be in love with yourself, is to be in love with God, is to be in love with every being created by God. To not be in love with nature or people is not being in love with yourself or God. People get so busy from life that they don't live life. We get so caught up in wanting love or approval when breathing is your approval from God. We forget the wonders of nature for a structure environment. To me, Jesus didn't come here to live a sinfree life or for us to say if he lived sinless to the gospels we can do it too. I think, Jesus living on earth was to teach us how to connect back to the sacrificial love of God. Which was finding ourself spiritually first, I'm not talking about church and reading scriptures, I'm talking about prayer and meditation (raising your consciousness), only then can we fall in love with God and then ourselves. Then we can fall back in love with nature, people, basically all of God's creation because then we go back to wanting to help others... by being selfless. Jesus death to me was God way of saying go through this journey to reconnect with me, I know you are not like me because I've given you only freewill therefore I won't punish you for not following my 613 commandments to the tee.

Our mission here on earth is to live life searching, enjoying, laughing, appreciating... To find that peace within... To fall back in love with God's love and ourselves and creation. To love each other as we want to be love, to find compassion that once burned in our heart for all life including us. To not judge or look down on any being that is living. To free our minds from man-made stress and burden, to open a new realm of consciousness that is more closely connected to God. To experience joy and bliss here right now, not when we enter the gates of Heaven. By walking with God literally in your spiritual being that no words in the holy scriptures can train you to do, only you must do so in your mind, heart, and spirit. Next time instead of giving money to your church (which people say you giving to God) give it to that homeless man/woman you pass everyday that you condemn. That will put you more in alignment with God than all the money you've gave to a church. Oh and if you don't go to church instead of that big mac, pass thoses dollars to a person in need... that love of compassion will grow inside. Learn to just Look at children (innocence), nature (beauty), the sky, flowers, snow, wind, breath... be grateful....be positive.... LOVE.
Until next time:)
P.S only when you are close in this pure state will you get your equal great mate. You attract in your life that level of love (good) or hate (bad) you are experiencing (mentally or physically) at that moment. That's why your instincts tell you no (to run) to avoid unnessarry pain (Futher lowering of your frequency). Guys (not only subjected to) forget instincts for lust and then when they experience pain/flash backs from memory (lowering of frequency) they ease that feeling out with more lust or activity (not solving the problem).

What's the meaning to life?

So many people get caught up in what is not apart of life. Like materialism, lust, judgemental unrealistic views, religion, food, school, work, money. Which causes unwanted stress, worry, dreadfulness, tireness, loss of energy, a boring circle of routine, temporary happiness, an false existance. We get so loss in the false likeliness of the media which tells us what brings happiness but we forget to them it's just business. We are an society that wants to fit in so bad that we let commericals tell us what's beautiful. Why do we think being a mindless, made up, fancy looking zombie is true living? Why do we want to be in a mountain of debt, disfigurement, unhappiness, unhealthy, unachieveable expectations, confused, zombie like state of mind?

The meaning to life is to be happy for what you have. In happiness you find peace and living in a peaceful state of mind is life. Your situation or circumstance should not be stressing you out to the point the its killing your only physical body on this earth. It's scientifically proven that stress leads to strokes and heart attacks. As a human being I think we we're born to be in a peaceful existance and the modernization of this world has made this almost unlikely. Because our bodies crave peace, we create false peace which equals happiness by buying unnecessary meaningless lumps of merchandise. The happiness disappears when you realize you are struck in a never ending reality of constantly buying, maintaining, or paying off debt... your mind stays in a stressful state until you die.

You only start living the life you we're made to live, when you accept things how they are. Become grateful for what you have. Appreciate that your life is always much better than someone else. Understand you have a mission in life that's much greater than you. Know happiness is a choice within and nothing else can fullfill that. Start loving the simple things again. Start following the one true God and stop trying to follow a religion. Connect with your inner self through prayer or meditation. Stop trying to fight whats meant to happen, only then can you stop worrying and stressing. Start eating healthy, stop the process food... it's cheap because it causes health probelms later. Love yourself more than anything, build your self esteem. Then start loving everyone by treating them with love and kindness. Be positive... then spread positivity around to everybody. Stop spreading your money on junk that won't mean nothing in six months or causes a stressful cycle. Don't spend beyond your means. Create you own peaceful scenery... if it's reading, writing, traveling, sitting in quietness, laughing, yoga, praying, meditating, spending time with family, art, listening to music, anything that makes you happy and your heart skips from joy because you really can't live without it. Life is to be as peaceful and joyous as possible. Create your peaceful mind set everyday for an hour a day and see the true meaning of living be clarified in front of your eyes.
Until next time:)

   

Letting go when you have children involved

Staying with someone because you have a child/children  is not love. It's called settling for what you don't want because you have a child. It only causes misery in your relationship and bitterness between each other. Resentment starts to build causing anger and hate to build over time. You will eventually be fighting more than you communcate with each other.

Having more hate in the household than love doesn't help anyone... especially you child/children. If you are not happy, your child/children will not grow up happy. Working it out is fine until you are working it out every other week. Or you are working it out only for your child/ children sake. If your child/children is your only motivation for staying together, it's time to call it quits. No one wants to be in an unhappy household... unhappiness only leads to ugly consequences.

How do you let go? Well if you are in love or not in love as much as the other. Then it will be hard letting go. Please do not confuse you love for that person with the love for your child/children. You do not have to be with that person to take and be present in your child/children life. Your child/children will be apart of both of ya'll forever... don't blame your kid/kids. You can not go cold turkey, you will always have to see that other person regardless of what you feel. That's why your love for your child/children has to be greater. Cutting ties does not mean that your child/children stop growing. Don't put your child/children through pain because you are hurt or don't want to let go. Being a parent means being selfless.

Now if the "in love" part is gone and your love is base on having a child/children together then say goodbye. A relationship doesn't work if theres no mutual love shared. Don't put your child/children through pain because ya'll are forcing each other to be together. It's not going to work no matter what you do. Direct all that energy into loving and only taking care of your child/children. You can hate each other guts but don't show or bring that around your kid/kids. Your child/children watch everything you do as parents, be positive role models. Stop exposing your child/children to misery, unhappiness, and talking bad about each other in front of them. Take care of your responsiblilty with love, respect, and presence... while letting God handle the rest.
Until next time:)

Learn to love yourself

Loving youself is one of the most important things you can do. It's so important in every aspect of your life. If you don't love you, nothing in your life will be right. Knowing your self worth makes any relationship in your life worth while. For example: No man will ever love you the way you want to be love, if he can't see the way you love yourself. When you don't love yourself,you can not respect yourself. Meaning he won't respect you ever. You will put up with more things than you can take, and everything will go wrong.

One of the main problems in relationships is a person will start loving the other more than they love themselves. You will put up with his/her constant disrespect because you don't respect yourself enough not to. You will stay unhappy with someone because you don't make yourself happy. You will change for all the wrong reasons because you can't change for yourself. People that don't love themselves can't become better individuals. They get stuck in a place that is unhealthy for themselves and others. They don't grow and/or make others grow, they bring others down while bringing themselves down also.

When you love yourself... become truly in love with yourself. No one will be able to make you lower yourself. You'll become happy with or without someone. Your joy will come from your inner self, and not from another person. You'll become connected with who you are inside. You'll know what you do and do not want from others. You'll gain such a high respect for yourself that others will see it a mile away. You'll become beautiful inside and out to yourself and others. Nothing will change your emotions for long because your happiness will depends on yourself. Nothing will be able to stop you from where you're going because you won't allow anyone to.

When you love every inch of your being... then you can fully give someone your all. You will pick nothing but others that love themselves because that's what you will attract. When you are whole you attract other whole beings making it possible to be whole together. You will never second guess your decisions because you will have absolute trust in yourself. Only through self love can you find true love and joy. If you can't love yourself then no one will. Only you can create your self worth, don't let someone else do that because they will never get it right. Take back that power and learn to get to the best form of you through your love for yourself.
Until next time:)