I'm ready to admit to myself that there is still a great deal of attachment that I have to my ex. I've realized this a long time ago but wanted to deny it to myself. I've spent four years with this guy so I would say it could be normal to still have some form of attachment left. But that is not true, the bonds between us is still not completely broken, meaning I'm not completely moved on. If a person can alter your mood or emotions by his or her words or actions, he/she still have control over you. Just like if you are in a relationship and your ex can cause emotions to arise in you, good or bad, you are not over them.
Now my ex causes my mood to go down, makes me feel sad, makes me feel jealousy, makes me mad, makes me feel guilty, makes me feel hurt, frustrated, just to name some. That's alot for an ex to be able to do.
No person, I don't care who they are, should have that much power over you emotionally, spiritually, physically or mentally to cause a shift in yourself. And the only reason he has this power over me emotionally is because I allow him to. So why am I allowing him this power? My attachment to him is still there and I still care about him. But it's possible to care about someone but not be attach. I can care about his well being but he shouldn't be able to rob me of my happiness.
I need to do more inner work because I have to heal the reason why I am allowing him this power. I truly want him to be happy in his life but I can't allow this to continue with me. I have to detach and it may be hard to find the root but I will never be the happiest I can be unless only I alone can control the power to my emotions.
Until next time:)
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