If he or she is controlling is that love?

Love is freedom, not constriction. But nevertheless, some people only feel loved when they are being controlled and some people use control as an expression of their love. Either way, both ways are dysfuntional to express or give love. But is it love? I would say no but if both, you and your partner are happy in that type of relationship then I wish you the best. But if one is unhappy in that type of relationship then you will never be happy as the time passes.

Control is insecurity, the root of insecurity is fear. You will never have a healthy relationship when the foundation is built on fear. If your man or woman feels he/she have to control your every thought, move, life... it's not that he/she wants to protect you or keep you safe, he/she is trying to shelter you into the existance he or she feels you should have. He/she is trying to take your worth, your self confidence, and everything else including other friendly relationships, social life, privacy... Everything that you allow them to control.

Control also has to do with trust issues... Either they don't trust you or themselves. If they (he/she) is a cheater then clocking your every move will ensure them you will never find out what he/she is doing behind your back. Now if they don't trust you then clocking your every move ensure him/her you are never cheating on them. Either way, it's dysfunctional... You will never have a healthy loving relationship without absolute trust in each other.

You should be able to have a life outside your relationship. Do not mistake control or possessiveness as love because it doesn't come from love. You are not property and you do not belong to anyone. But also remember people have feelings, you cannot cheat and lie all the time and expect not to hurt people in the process. If you are not ready for commitment with another, stay out of relationships. If you feel the need to control someone or be controlled, do some inner reflection and find out why do you feel that way. To fix dysfunction, you have to fix what needs healing inside yourself to be functional for another. Love doesn't hurt, it never has and it never will.
Until next time:)