So I was talking to a real cheater and he informed me of some interesting information. And I got to admit, it made sense. I'm talking about men that take care of home, bills, their kids, are in a relationship with one women for years or even married types of men. So No... i'm not talking about younger guys (see older posts on cheating) i'm talking about older cheaters. Okay now i'll share.
A man seriously could love everything about you and truly love you. He can love the home ya'll built together, the children ya'll made together, the life ya'll have together. You can think you're doing everything to make him happy. And he can be doing everything to make you happy. But you find out or suspect another female and wonder why would he destroy everything to cheat? Simple, men don't think like you.
Men have several reasons for cheating but theres nomore than four. But we are talking about older men so two. 1. He's unsatisfied, 2. Fetishes. I know how that sounds but keep reading.
If he is unsatisfied, it has nothing to do with love, he will seek else where. His heart may belongs to you but his pleasure doesn't. Females can put the needs of her family before hers but guys can't, it's that simple. If the sex is boring, he's going to want fun, spontaneous sex. New vagina bets old vagina any day. If ya'll have sex once a week, he's not satisfied. If he loves oral sex and you're bad or okay, he's not satisfied. And this have nothing to do with if he's satisfying you. See, he's not going to tell you after years of togetherness what you are doing wrong. He rather go find it else where instead of coming to you for you just to get mad. That's an unwanted arguement. No woman wants to be told that she's doing something wrong or she's not enough. So he's not going to tell you. He probably told you in the beginning but as time pass, life got hecked. You use to do stuff you don't do now... you're tired. Or he never told you what he wanted sexually like you didn't. So he will cheat to get the pleasure he think about all day, that you are not giving to him. And he won't tell you because he don't want you to leave him.
Fetishes. Now if he like long hair and you chop you hair off to get a halle berry look. You may look cute but he may cheat with a long hair chick until you're hair grow back. If he likes feet and your feet look like grandma's, he may cheat with a girl with pretty feet. If he want someone with ambition and you rather be a mom or lazy, he may get a side chick who's ambitious. If he loves a thick girl and you turned into an overly obese super thick girl, he may cheat with a skinnier chick. If he likes a different nationality and you're his race, he may cheat with a spanish, asian, or white chick. If he loves porn and you made him get rid of it, he may have a secret stash or may be making personal porn with another chick. If he likes sexy lingerie and you wearing laundry day draws, he may cheat with a chick that only wear thongs. But with fetishes he wants to experience it but he knows where home is. Meaning, he love his fetish but love you more. Like chocolate, you don't want it everyday, just sometimes.
Most guys will risk everything just to get these two things including you. Dumb yes, understanding... I get it. Questions leave below lol.
Until next time:)
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
Are females quick to move on?
There are two possible answers to that question. Yes, if you where lacking at something but treat her fairly well. No, if you treated her bad and that was why ya'll parted. I know that sound weird but it's also true... maybe with a few exceptions. I'll explain why.
If you treated her well and you consider yourself a good boyfriend to her. But ya'll broke up from let's say... technical difficulties. And you and her weren't broken up that long but she's already dating again. Now you're thinking "really... that fast?". She moved on to someone else "that fast" because she was missing something extremely bad. Missing what? Let's see... satisfying sex, a listening ear, fun, passionate kisses, one on one time, basis human attention, romance, or she wanted out (fear). You may say, "hey, I gave her that", yea but not to the best of your ability. How do I know? Because, it's the way of life now, you start to get so comfortable with each other that things start to fade. The once a week nights out turns into once a whenever I feel like it, the long steamy makeout sessions turns into tap kisses, the I want to hear everything turns into not now... i'm busy, saying "I love you" 10x or more a day turns into ''I love you, goodnight". Things change and we females crave that, it never stops even after years of being with you. So if you stopped doing what you did in the beginning when you wanted to hook us, when it's over she's going to try to find that as quick as possible (with someone else of course).
Now I mention she might've wanted out because of fear. Males are not the only one with commitment issues. Some females can be with you for years but once you bring up marriage, she's gone. Then theres some females who will even go through an engagement and seem happy. But the longer she engaged the more shes thinking, which in the end shes still gone. It's called fear of being with one man for the rest of her life. The non-fairytale syndrome.
Now, if you were a horrible boyfriend... cheated, lied, disrespectful, etc. When ya'll break up she won't be so quick to move on. Reason being she scared she will meet another you. So pretty much it may take alot of months even years to trust another guy. Dating around and actual relationship are to different things. So relationship wise it will take awhile. And if she got children... maybe even decades.
Until next time:)
If you treated her well and you consider yourself a good boyfriend to her. But ya'll broke up from let's say... technical difficulties. And you and her weren't broken up that long but she's already dating again. Now you're thinking "really... that fast?". She moved on to someone else "that fast" because she was missing something extremely bad. Missing what? Let's see... satisfying sex, a listening ear, fun, passionate kisses, one on one time, basis human attention, romance, or she wanted out (fear). You may say, "hey, I gave her that", yea but not to the best of your ability. How do I know? Because, it's the way of life now, you start to get so comfortable with each other that things start to fade. The once a week nights out turns into once a whenever I feel like it, the long steamy makeout sessions turns into tap kisses, the I want to hear everything turns into not now... i'm busy, saying "I love you" 10x or more a day turns into ''I love you, goodnight". Things change and we females crave that, it never stops even after years of being with you. So if you stopped doing what you did in the beginning when you wanted to hook us, when it's over she's going to try to find that as quick as possible (with someone else of course).
Now I mention she might've wanted out because of fear. Males are not the only one with commitment issues. Some females can be with you for years but once you bring up marriage, she's gone. Then theres some females who will even go through an engagement and seem happy. But the longer she engaged the more shes thinking, which in the end shes still gone. It's called fear of being with one man for the rest of her life. The non-fairytale syndrome.
Now, if you were a horrible boyfriend... cheated, lied, disrespectful, etc. When ya'll break up she won't be so quick to move on. Reason being she scared she will meet another you. So pretty much it may take alot of months even years to trust another guy. Dating around and actual relationship are to different things. So relationship wise it will take awhile. And if she got children... maybe even decades.
Until next time:)
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
How to get past a Heartbreak
Sometimes heartbreaks are tramatic and very painful. Also, the healing time vary from person to person. It's impossible to try to fix or heal your broken heart with words or instructions because everyone is different. So the cold turkey method mention in earlier posts, will not help your heart (it will just break the attachments).
I think there's only three things that can happen from a broken heart. You fall into a form of depression (lose yourself), Move on and let go (find someone new or yourself), or Find a way to cover up the pain (Unhealthy activities or substances). Of course, the best option is moving on because your heart is broken for a reason. But sometimes there's no one new or you just don't want a new relationship just yet. What to do?
Well I say work on yourself. Maybe being single can give you time to adjust the things that are out of line in your life. Try to fix the reasons to why your heart is broken or why your relationship went down hill in the first place. Finding yourself and enhancing the qualities that need work inside, only betters you within. Jumping from relationships doesn't solve the core problems that only you can fix, so let go and then work on yourself. If you become a great person from the inside out, you will only attract someone that is also great, probably finally giving you the relationship you really crave. Find yourself, work on yourself, become a better person for yourself....others... and in your life.
Until next time:)
I think there's only three things that can happen from a broken heart. You fall into a form of depression (lose yourself), Move on and let go (find someone new or yourself), or Find a way to cover up the pain (Unhealthy activities or substances). Of course, the best option is moving on because your heart is broken for a reason. But sometimes there's no one new or you just don't want a new relationship just yet. What to do?
Well I say work on yourself. Maybe being single can give you time to adjust the things that are out of line in your life. Try to fix the reasons to why your heart is broken or why your relationship went down hill in the first place. Finding yourself and enhancing the qualities that need work inside, only betters you within. Jumping from relationships doesn't solve the core problems that only you can fix, so let go and then work on yourself. If you become a great person from the inside out, you will only attract someone that is also great, probably finally giving you the relationship you really crave. Find yourself, work on yourself, become a better person for yourself....others... and in your life.
Until next time:)
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