You may feel lonely. You may want love now. But what would be the point if you can't keep the love you want to have? To work on yourself means to fix the flaws you already have. To heal from the damage and pain from you past. Also, to learn to truly love the inside and outside of yourself.
The loneliness may be tough to handle and seeing others coupled up may make you feel like you are missing out. But that's when you have to make the decision... Do you want something short term or something long term? If you want something long term then it will take time but will be well worth the wait. Now, if you feel unhappy alone and don't want to get to the bottom of why you feel that way then do what will make you happy. If that means sex or being with anyone then maybe you are not ready for real love.
I think if you cannot feel happy, fulfilled, and loved alone, then you will not feel those emotions in a relationship. Real love is two individuals that are already complete in themselves that come together whole. Love isn't about finding something that you are lacking in yourself in another because that would mean you are leaching off the person. Love have nothing to do with taking as much as you can get from that person, it's about giving to that person unconditionally.
The best thing you can do for yourself is to work on you. The best thing you can do for your future mate is to be already complete and in love with yourself. Because if you are already in love with yourself, you will be irresistible in every way.
Sunday, May 22, 2011
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
Cheating: The Man Prospective
So I was talking to a real cheater and he informed me of some interesting information. And I got to admit, it made sense. I'm talking about men that take care of home, bills, their kids, are in a relationship with one women for years or even married types of men. So No... i'm not talking about younger guys (see older posts on cheating) i'm talking about older cheaters. Okay now i'll share.
A man seriously could love everything about you and truly love you. He can love the home ya'll built together, the children ya'll made together, the life ya'll have together. You can think you're doing everything to make him happy. And he can be doing everything to make you happy. But you find out or suspect another female and wonder why would he destroy everything to cheat? Simple, men don't think like you.
Men have several reasons for cheating but theres nomore than four. But we are talking about older men so two. 1. He's unsatisfied, 2. Fetishes. I know how that sounds but keep reading.
If he is unsatisfied, it has nothing to do with love, he will seek else where. His heart may belongs to you but his pleasure doesn't. Females can put the needs of her family before hers but guys can't, it's that simple. If the sex is boring, he's going to want fun, spontaneous sex. New vagina bets old vagina any day. If ya'll have sex once a week, he's not satisfied. If he loves oral sex and you're bad or okay, he's not satisfied. And this have nothing to do with if he's satisfying you. See, he's not going to tell you after years of togetherness what you are doing wrong. He rather go find it else where instead of coming to you for you just to get mad. That's an unwanted arguement. No woman wants to be told that she's doing something wrong or she's not enough. So he's not going to tell you. He probably told you in the beginning but as time pass, life got hecked. You use to do stuff you don't do now... you're tired. Or he never told you what he wanted sexually like you didn't. So he will cheat to get the pleasure he think about all day, that you are not giving to him. And he won't tell you because he don't want you to leave him.
Fetishes. Now if he like long hair and you chop you hair off to get a halle berry look. You may look cute but he may cheat with a long hair chick until you're hair grow back. If he likes feet and your feet look like grandma's, he may cheat with a girl with pretty feet. If he want someone with ambition and you rather be a mom or lazy, he may get a side chick who's ambitious. If he loves a thick girl and you turned into an overly obese super thick girl, he may cheat with a skinnier chick. If he likes a different nationality and you're his race, he may cheat with a spanish, asian, or white chick. If he loves porn and you made him get rid of it, he may have a secret stash or may be making personal porn with another chick. If he likes sexy lingerie and you wearing laundry day draws, he may cheat with a chick that only wear thongs. But with fetishes he wants to experience it but he knows where home is. Meaning, he love his fetish but love you more. Like chocolate, you don't want it everyday, just sometimes.
Most guys will risk everything just to get these two things including you. Dumb yes, understanding... I get it. Questions leave below lol.
Until next time:)
A man seriously could love everything about you and truly love you. He can love the home ya'll built together, the children ya'll made together, the life ya'll have together. You can think you're doing everything to make him happy. And he can be doing everything to make you happy. But you find out or suspect another female and wonder why would he destroy everything to cheat? Simple, men don't think like you.
Men have several reasons for cheating but theres nomore than four. But we are talking about older men so two. 1. He's unsatisfied, 2. Fetishes. I know how that sounds but keep reading.
If he is unsatisfied, it has nothing to do with love, he will seek else where. His heart may belongs to you but his pleasure doesn't. Females can put the needs of her family before hers but guys can't, it's that simple. If the sex is boring, he's going to want fun, spontaneous sex. New vagina bets old vagina any day. If ya'll have sex once a week, he's not satisfied. If he loves oral sex and you're bad or okay, he's not satisfied. And this have nothing to do with if he's satisfying you. See, he's not going to tell you after years of togetherness what you are doing wrong. He rather go find it else where instead of coming to you for you just to get mad. That's an unwanted arguement. No woman wants to be told that she's doing something wrong or she's not enough. So he's not going to tell you. He probably told you in the beginning but as time pass, life got hecked. You use to do stuff you don't do now... you're tired. Or he never told you what he wanted sexually like you didn't. So he will cheat to get the pleasure he think about all day, that you are not giving to him. And he won't tell you because he don't want you to leave him.
Fetishes. Now if he like long hair and you chop you hair off to get a halle berry look. You may look cute but he may cheat with a long hair chick until you're hair grow back. If he likes feet and your feet look like grandma's, he may cheat with a girl with pretty feet. If he want someone with ambition and you rather be a mom or lazy, he may get a side chick who's ambitious. If he loves a thick girl and you turned into an overly obese super thick girl, he may cheat with a skinnier chick. If he likes a different nationality and you're his race, he may cheat with a spanish, asian, or white chick. If he loves porn and you made him get rid of it, he may have a secret stash or may be making personal porn with another chick. If he likes sexy lingerie and you wearing laundry day draws, he may cheat with a chick that only wear thongs. But with fetishes he wants to experience it but he knows where home is. Meaning, he love his fetish but love you more. Like chocolate, you don't want it everyday, just sometimes.
Most guys will risk everything just to get these two things including you. Dumb yes, understanding... I get it. Questions leave below lol.
Until next time:)
Are females quick to move on?
There are two possible answers to that question. Yes, if you where lacking at something but treat her fairly well. No, if you treated her bad and that was why ya'll parted. I know that sound weird but it's also true... maybe with a few exceptions. I'll explain why.
If you treated her well and you consider yourself a good boyfriend to her. But ya'll broke up from let's say... technical difficulties. And you and her weren't broken up that long but she's already dating again. Now you're thinking "really... that fast?". She moved on to someone else "that fast" because she was missing something extremely bad. Missing what? Let's see... satisfying sex, a listening ear, fun, passionate kisses, one on one time, basis human attention, romance, or she wanted out (fear). You may say, "hey, I gave her that", yea but not to the best of your ability. How do I know? Because, it's the way of life now, you start to get so comfortable with each other that things start to fade. The once a week nights out turns into once a whenever I feel like it, the long steamy makeout sessions turns into tap kisses, the I want to hear everything turns into not now... i'm busy, saying "I love you" 10x or more a day turns into ''I love you, goodnight". Things change and we females crave that, it never stops even after years of being with you. So if you stopped doing what you did in the beginning when you wanted to hook us, when it's over she's going to try to find that as quick as possible (with someone else of course).
Now I mention she might've wanted out because of fear. Males are not the only one with commitment issues. Some females can be with you for years but once you bring up marriage, she's gone. Then theres some females who will even go through an engagement and seem happy. But the longer she engaged the more shes thinking, which in the end shes still gone. It's called fear of being with one man for the rest of her life. The non-fairytale syndrome.
Now, if you were a horrible boyfriend... cheated, lied, disrespectful, etc. When ya'll break up she won't be so quick to move on. Reason being she scared she will meet another you. So pretty much it may take alot of months even years to trust another guy. Dating around and actual relationship are to different things. So relationship wise it will take awhile. And if she got children... maybe even decades.
Until next time:)
If you treated her well and you consider yourself a good boyfriend to her. But ya'll broke up from let's say... technical difficulties. And you and her weren't broken up that long but she's already dating again. Now you're thinking "really... that fast?". She moved on to someone else "that fast" because she was missing something extremely bad. Missing what? Let's see... satisfying sex, a listening ear, fun, passionate kisses, one on one time, basis human attention, romance, or she wanted out (fear). You may say, "hey, I gave her that", yea but not to the best of your ability. How do I know? Because, it's the way of life now, you start to get so comfortable with each other that things start to fade. The once a week nights out turns into once a whenever I feel like it, the long steamy makeout sessions turns into tap kisses, the I want to hear everything turns into not now... i'm busy, saying "I love you" 10x or more a day turns into ''I love you, goodnight". Things change and we females crave that, it never stops even after years of being with you. So if you stopped doing what you did in the beginning when you wanted to hook us, when it's over she's going to try to find that as quick as possible (with someone else of course).
Now I mention she might've wanted out because of fear. Males are not the only one with commitment issues. Some females can be with you for years but once you bring up marriage, she's gone. Then theres some females who will even go through an engagement and seem happy. But the longer she engaged the more shes thinking, which in the end shes still gone. It's called fear of being with one man for the rest of her life. The non-fairytale syndrome.
Now, if you were a horrible boyfriend... cheated, lied, disrespectful, etc. When ya'll break up she won't be so quick to move on. Reason being she scared she will meet another you. So pretty much it may take alot of months even years to trust another guy. Dating around and actual relationship are to different things. So relationship wise it will take awhile. And if she got children... maybe even decades.
Until next time:)
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
How to get past a Heartbreak
Sometimes heartbreaks are tramatic and very painful. Also, the healing time vary from person to person. It's impossible to try to fix or heal your broken heart with words or instructions because everyone is different. So the cold turkey method mention in earlier posts, will not help your heart (it will just break the attachments).
I think there's only three things that can happen from a broken heart. You fall into a form of depression (lose yourself), Move on and let go (find someone new or yourself), or Find a way to cover up the pain (Unhealthy activities or substances). Of course, the best option is moving on because your heart is broken for a reason. But sometimes there's no one new or you just don't want a new relationship just yet. What to do?
Well I say work on yourself. Maybe being single can give you time to adjust the things that are out of line in your life. Try to fix the reasons to why your heart is broken or why your relationship went down hill in the first place. Finding yourself and enhancing the qualities that need work inside, only betters you within. Jumping from relationships doesn't solve the core problems that only you can fix, so let go and then work on yourself. If you become a great person from the inside out, you will only attract someone that is also great, probably finally giving you the relationship you really crave. Find yourself, work on yourself, become a better person for yourself....others... and in your life.
Until next time:)
I think there's only three things that can happen from a broken heart. You fall into a form of depression (lose yourself), Move on and let go (find someone new or yourself), or Find a way to cover up the pain (Unhealthy activities or substances). Of course, the best option is moving on because your heart is broken for a reason. But sometimes there's no one new or you just don't want a new relationship just yet. What to do?
Well I say work on yourself. Maybe being single can give you time to adjust the things that are out of line in your life. Try to fix the reasons to why your heart is broken or why your relationship went down hill in the first place. Finding yourself and enhancing the qualities that need work inside, only betters you within. Jumping from relationships doesn't solve the core problems that only you can fix, so let go and then work on yourself. If you become a great person from the inside out, you will only attract someone that is also great, probably finally giving you the relationship you really crave. Find yourself, work on yourself, become a better person for yourself....others... and in your life.
Until next time:)
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
Love: the greatest emotion
Every human being on this planet is in search for some form of love. We crave the feeling of that emotion like an addiction. We look in the good places for it and sometimes in the bad. We almost always misinterpet it or mistake it for other emotions and coping agents. Such as... Lust, infatuation, approval, attention, addiction, ect.
What is love? Love is the greatest emotion you'll ever feel. Love causes a feeling that is sheer bliss, extreme happiness, overwelming joy, unbelievable pleasure, fulfillment..... Sometimes it feels so incredible it's indescribable. Love puts one at a state of peace, at a frequency that is at equilibrium with ones inner self. But the highest form of love is sacrificial love in which Jesus gave his life for our sins.
I've learned our bodies seriously break down due to unhappiness, stress, and worry. Why? Because that is not our natural state to be in. We are a creation from love.... we are happiest and healthy when we are on that frequency. Only we can decide when we want to let go and be peaceful and happy. Doing happy activities that are pure of love get us to that level of happiness. Learning to free your mind of stress and burden take us to that level of peace. It's not easy and it's a personal journey but well worth it. You can live in freedom.You have to complete YOU before you can help others and add other elements of love into your life.
Why do we crave love? Well, unfortunately we haven't realize that the love we need resides in us. How so? If God gave us his only begotten son because he loves us so much... shouldn't we be in love with ourself just as much as God is in love with us? It's God Love and Self Love combine we need. But it's one of thoses loves that we are missing in our lives. For one to feel complete one must have both, not one but both. When you only have one you begin to search for your other half because you are still incomplete. Other half meaning soulmate, mate, lover, drug, addiction, people, family, lust... it goes on. Ok let me explain: You can worship God and be obedient to the word, proving your love and you love God with all your heart. Or you can love yourself alot and bearly believe in God. Or you can say I'm in love with myself and God but still feel miseriable sometimes. It's because you're still missing the key point... being in love with God is being in love with yourself. God is apart of you deep in your soul/spiritual being as God is in everything. God is not limited to a name that's why no one knows his true name, just like God is not limited to he or she...God is a being beyond our comprehension. God is a spiritual being with no boundaries to our earthly existence.
To be in love with yourself, is to be in love with God, is to be in love with every being created by God. To not be in love with nature or people is not being in love with yourself or God. People get so busy from life that they don't live life. We get so caught up in wanting love or approval when breathing is your approval from God. We forget the wonders of nature for a structure environment. To me, Jesus didn't come here to live a sinfree life or for us to say if he lived sinless to the gospels we can do it too. I think, Jesus living on earth was to teach us how to connect back to the sacrificial love of God. Which was finding ourself spiritually first, I'm not talking about church and reading scriptures, I'm talking about prayer and meditation (raising your consciousness), only then can we fall in love with God and then ourselves. Then we can fall back in love with nature, people, basically all of God's creation because then we go back to wanting to help others... by being selfless. Jesus death to me was God way of saying go through this journey to reconnect with me, I know you are not like me because I've given you only freewill therefore I won't punish you for not following my 613 commandments to the tee.
Our mission here on earth is to live life searching, enjoying, laughing, appreciating... To find that peace within... To fall back in love with God's love and ourselves and creation. To love each other as we want to be love, to find compassion that once burned in our heart for all life including us. To not judge or look down on any being that is living. To free our minds from man-made stress and burden, to open a new realm of consciousness that is more closely connected to God. To experience joy and bliss here right now, not when we enter the gates of Heaven. By walking with God literally in your spiritual being that no words in the holy scriptures can train you to do, only you must do so in your mind, heart, and spirit. Next time instead of giving money to your church (which people say you giving to God) give it to that homeless man/woman you pass everyday that you condemn. That will put you more in alignment with God than all the money you've gave to a church. Oh and if you don't go to church instead of that big mac, pass thoses dollars to a person in need... that love of compassion will grow inside. Learn to just Look at children (innocence), nature (beauty), the sky, flowers, snow, wind, breath... be grateful....be positive.... LOVE.
Until next time:)
P.S only when you are close in this pure state will you get your equal great mate. You attract in your life that level of love (good) or hate (bad) you are experiencing (mentally or physically) at that moment. That's why your instincts tell you no (to run) to avoid unnessarry pain (Futher lowering of your frequency). Guys (not only subjected to) forget instincts for lust and then when they experience pain/flash backs from memory (lowering of frequency) they ease that feeling out with more lust or activity (not solving the problem).
What is love? Love is the greatest emotion you'll ever feel. Love causes a feeling that is sheer bliss, extreme happiness, overwelming joy, unbelievable pleasure, fulfillment..... Sometimes it feels so incredible it's indescribable. Love puts one at a state of peace, at a frequency that is at equilibrium with ones inner self. But the highest form of love is sacrificial love in which Jesus gave his life for our sins.
I've learned our bodies seriously break down due to unhappiness, stress, and worry. Why? Because that is not our natural state to be in. We are a creation from love.... we are happiest and healthy when we are on that frequency. Only we can decide when we want to let go and be peaceful and happy. Doing happy activities that are pure of love get us to that level of happiness. Learning to free your mind of stress and burden take us to that level of peace. It's not easy and it's a personal journey but well worth it. You can live in freedom.You have to complete YOU before you can help others and add other elements of love into your life.
Why do we crave love? Well, unfortunately we haven't realize that the love we need resides in us. How so? If God gave us his only begotten son because he loves us so much... shouldn't we be in love with ourself just as much as God is in love with us? It's God Love and Self Love combine we need. But it's one of thoses loves that we are missing in our lives. For one to feel complete one must have both, not one but both. When you only have one you begin to search for your other half because you are still incomplete. Other half meaning soulmate, mate, lover, drug, addiction, people, family, lust... it goes on. Ok let me explain: You can worship God and be obedient to the word, proving your love and you love God with all your heart. Or you can love yourself alot and bearly believe in God. Or you can say I'm in love with myself and God but still feel miseriable sometimes. It's because you're still missing the key point... being in love with God is being in love with yourself. God is apart of you deep in your soul/spiritual being as God is in everything. God is not limited to a name that's why no one knows his true name, just like God is not limited to he or she...God is a being beyond our comprehension. God is a spiritual being with no boundaries to our earthly existence.
To be in love with yourself, is to be in love with God, is to be in love with every being created by God. To not be in love with nature or people is not being in love with yourself or God. People get so busy from life that they don't live life. We get so caught up in wanting love or approval when breathing is your approval from God. We forget the wonders of nature for a structure environment. To me, Jesus didn't come here to live a sinfree life or for us to say if he lived sinless to the gospels we can do it too. I think, Jesus living on earth was to teach us how to connect back to the sacrificial love of God. Which was finding ourself spiritually first, I'm not talking about church and reading scriptures, I'm talking about prayer and meditation (raising your consciousness), only then can we fall in love with God and then ourselves. Then we can fall back in love with nature, people, basically all of God's creation because then we go back to wanting to help others... by being selfless. Jesus death to me was God way of saying go through this journey to reconnect with me, I know you are not like me because I've given you only freewill therefore I won't punish you for not following my 613 commandments to the tee.
Our mission here on earth is to live life searching, enjoying, laughing, appreciating... To find that peace within... To fall back in love with God's love and ourselves and creation. To love each other as we want to be love, to find compassion that once burned in our heart for all life including us. To not judge or look down on any being that is living. To free our minds from man-made stress and burden, to open a new realm of consciousness that is more closely connected to God. To experience joy and bliss here right now, not when we enter the gates of Heaven. By walking with God literally in your spiritual being that no words in the holy scriptures can train you to do, only you must do so in your mind, heart, and spirit. Next time instead of giving money to your church (which people say you giving to God) give it to that homeless man/woman you pass everyday that you condemn. That will put you more in alignment with God than all the money you've gave to a church. Oh and if you don't go to church instead of that big mac, pass thoses dollars to a person in need... that love of compassion will grow inside. Learn to just Look at children (innocence), nature (beauty), the sky, flowers, snow, wind, breath... be grateful....be positive.... LOVE.
Until next time:)
P.S only when you are close in this pure state will you get your equal great mate. You attract in your life that level of love (good) or hate (bad) you are experiencing (mentally or physically) at that moment. That's why your instincts tell you no (to run) to avoid unnessarry pain (Futher lowering of your frequency). Guys (not only subjected to) forget instincts for lust and then when they experience pain/flash backs from memory (lowering of frequency) they ease that feeling out with more lust or activity (not solving the problem).
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
What's the meaning to life?
So many people get caught up in what is not apart of life. Like materialism, lust, judgemental unrealistic views, religion, food, school, work, money. Which causes unwanted stress, worry, dreadfulness, tireness, loss of energy, a boring circle of routine, temporary happiness, an false existance. We get so loss in the false likeliness of the media which tells us what brings happiness but we forget to them it's just business. We are an society that wants to fit in so bad that we let commericals tell us what's beautiful. Why do we think being a mindless, made up, fancy looking zombie is true living? Why do we want to be in a mountain of debt, disfigurement, unhappiness, unhealthy, unachieveable expectations, confused, zombie like state of mind?
The meaning to life is to be happy for what you have. In happiness you find peace and living in a peaceful state of mind is life. Your situation or circumstance should not be stressing you out to the point the its killing your only physical body on this earth. It's scientifically proven that stress leads to strokes and heart attacks. As a human being I think we we're born to be in a peaceful existance and the modernization of this world has made this almost unlikely. Because our bodies crave peace, we create false peace which equals happiness by buying unnecessary meaningless lumps of merchandise. The happiness disappears when you realize you are struck in a never ending reality of constantly buying, maintaining, or paying off debt... your mind stays in a stressful state until you die.
You only start living the life you we're made to live, when you accept things how they are. Become grateful for what you have. Appreciate that your life is always much better than someone else. Understand you have a mission in life that's much greater than you. Know happiness is a choice within and nothing else can fullfill that. Start loving the simple things again. Start following the one true God and stop trying to follow a religion. Connect with your inner self through prayer or meditation. Stop trying to fight whats meant to happen, only then can you stop worrying and stressing. Start eating healthy, stop the process food... it's cheap because it causes health probelms later. Love yourself more than anything, build your self esteem. Then start loving everyone by treating them with love and kindness. Be positive... then spread positivity around to everybody. Stop spreading your money on junk that won't mean nothing in six months or causes a stressful cycle. Don't spend beyond your means. Create you own peaceful scenery... if it's reading, writing, traveling, sitting in quietness, laughing, yoga, praying, meditating, spending time with family, art, listening to music, anything that makes you happy and your heart skips from joy because you really can't live without it. Life is to be as peaceful and joyous as possible. Create your peaceful mind set everyday for an hour a day and see the true meaning of living be clarified in front of your eyes.
Until next time:)
The meaning to life is to be happy for what you have. In happiness you find peace and living in a peaceful state of mind is life. Your situation or circumstance should not be stressing you out to the point the its killing your only physical body on this earth. It's scientifically proven that stress leads to strokes and heart attacks. As a human being I think we we're born to be in a peaceful existance and the modernization of this world has made this almost unlikely. Because our bodies crave peace, we create false peace which equals happiness by buying unnecessary meaningless lumps of merchandise. The happiness disappears when you realize you are struck in a never ending reality of constantly buying, maintaining, or paying off debt... your mind stays in a stressful state until you die.
You only start living the life you we're made to live, when you accept things how they are. Become grateful for what you have. Appreciate that your life is always much better than someone else. Understand you have a mission in life that's much greater than you. Know happiness is a choice within and nothing else can fullfill that. Start loving the simple things again. Start following the one true God and stop trying to follow a religion. Connect with your inner self through prayer or meditation. Stop trying to fight whats meant to happen, only then can you stop worrying and stressing. Start eating healthy, stop the process food... it's cheap because it causes health probelms later. Love yourself more than anything, build your self esteem. Then start loving everyone by treating them with love and kindness. Be positive... then spread positivity around to everybody. Stop spreading your money on junk that won't mean nothing in six months or causes a stressful cycle. Don't spend beyond your means. Create you own peaceful scenery... if it's reading, writing, traveling, sitting in quietness, laughing, yoga, praying, meditating, spending time with family, art, listening to music, anything that makes you happy and your heart skips from joy because you really can't live without it. Life is to be as peaceful and joyous as possible. Create your peaceful mind set everyday for an hour a day and see the true meaning of living be clarified in front of your eyes.
Until next time:)
Monday, January 3, 2011
Letting go when you have children involved
Staying with someone because you have a child/children is not love. It's called settling for what you don't want because you have a child. It only causes misery in your relationship and bitterness between each other. Resentment starts to build causing anger and hate to build over time. You will eventually be fighting more than you communcate with each other.
Having more hate in the household than love doesn't help anyone... especially you child/children. If you are not happy, your child/children will not grow up happy. Working it out is fine until you are working it out every other week. Or you are working it out only for your child/ children sake. If your child/children is your only motivation for staying together, it's time to call it quits. No one wants to be in an unhappy household... unhappiness only leads to ugly consequences.
How do you let go? Well if you are in love or not in love as much as the other. Then it will be hard letting go. Please do not confuse you love for that person with the love for your child/children. You do not have to be with that person to take and be present in your child/children life. Your child/children will be apart of both of ya'll forever... don't blame your kid/kids. You can not go cold turkey, you will always have to see that other person regardless of what you feel. That's why your love for your child/children has to be greater. Cutting ties does not mean that your child/children stop growing. Don't put your child/children through pain because you are hurt or don't want to let go. Being a parent means being selfless.
Now if the "in love" part is gone and your love is base on having a child/children together then say goodbye. A relationship doesn't work if theres no mutual love shared. Don't put your child/children through pain because ya'll are forcing each other to be together. It's not going to work no matter what you do. Direct all that energy into loving and only taking care of your child/children. You can hate each other guts but don't show or bring that around your kid/kids. Your child/children watch everything you do as parents, be positive role models. Stop exposing your child/children to misery, unhappiness, and talking bad about each other in front of them. Take care of your responsiblilty with love, respect, and presence... while letting God handle the rest.
Until next time:)
Having more hate in the household than love doesn't help anyone... especially you child/children. If you are not happy, your child/children will not grow up happy. Working it out is fine until you are working it out every other week. Or you are working it out only for your child/ children sake. If your child/children is your only motivation for staying together, it's time to call it quits. No one wants to be in an unhappy household... unhappiness only leads to ugly consequences.
How do you let go? Well if you are in love or not in love as much as the other. Then it will be hard letting go. Please do not confuse you love for that person with the love for your child/children. You do not have to be with that person to take and be present in your child/children life. Your child/children will be apart of both of ya'll forever... don't blame your kid/kids. You can not go cold turkey, you will always have to see that other person regardless of what you feel. That's why your love for your child/children has to be greater. Cutting ties does not mean that your child/children stop growing. Don't put your child/children through pain because you are hurt or don't want to let go. Being a parent means being selfless.
Now if the "in love" part is gone and your love is base on having a child/children together then say goodbye. A relationship doesn't work if theres no mutual love shared. Don't put your child/children through pain because ya'll are forcing each other to be together. It's not going to work no matter what you do. Direct all that energy into loving and only taking care of your child/children. You can hate each other guts but don't show or bring that around your kid/kids. Your child/children watch everything you do as parents, be positive role models. Stop exposing your child/children to misery, unhappiness, and talking bad about each other in front of them. Take care of your responsiblilty with love, respect, and presence... while letting God handle the rest.
Until next time:)
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