How to change the one you love

The answer is you can't, sorry if the title is misleading. But seriously you can't at all, never will, it won't happen. You can influence a person to change but it's their choice to do so. No one will ever change unless  he or she wants to. If the one you love won't do things differently, it's because they don't want to. You will not change their mind and no amount of love will make it happen quicker. It happens on their time and nobody elses.

I see some people actually check everything and anything their mate is doing. Following them, checking their messages, phone records. One person I know actually put his fingers into his girl vagina to check for semen. Now if you have to go to that extent, it's time for you to wrap up that relationship. Doing anything stalker "ish" in a relationship is doomed. If ya'll wasn't together it would be a crime so it shows you are losing it. And if you are losing yourself in a relationship that means it's a bad situation. Get out now.

Trust is the most important aspect in any relationship, so if that's out the window, theres no saving what you have. Yes, trust can be earned back but it's a damn brutal process and means alot of work. Stalker "ish" people, I know you've been pushed to your limit by your mate, but you need to let go. Time is not worth trying to change someone, it's about living. What needs to be realized is they have to change for themselves and not for you. We need to stop thinking we can save someone from their own flaws. We can't, we don't have that type of power, only God can save people. Our love only can guide people to different decisions but not change an outcome.

So if you are not willing to accept a person malfunctions. Then you have to move on and fix yourself to see why you allow yourself to be treated badly. Or why you became stalker "ish" to a person that made it clear as day that they couldn't change. Stop playing superhero and self approve your inner self and then find someone that won't need changing and that will make you a better individual.
Until next time:)