Note to self

Action is the best way someone can show you what you mean to them. Words are nice when they are said but at the end of the day... They are just words. We put so much on people words that when action don't balance what we were told... We become disappointed. Or begin making excuses for their lack of action. I am a pleaser, so I often feel like I'm not getting what I put out. I just have to learn to stop making excuses for behavior I feel I do not deserve or lack of effort I do not receive. I have to remind myself that actions and words go hand & hand.

Action is required in love. If I love you I must show it. If I like you I must show it. If I care I must show it. If I want you in my life I must show it. If I'm your friend I must show it. If I'm your family I must show it. If you feel you are getting taken advantage of or your efforts aren't matched... Deal or remove yourself from the situation. It may be hard but you happiness depends on you.

Until next time:)

Poem: Lost in him

He lives in my mind... Every thought he's there, in every memory he resides. Every dream he awakens, in every fantasy he lives. I can't escape his image that is burned into my head. He lives in my heart... Every beat is for him, in the day & in the night. He lives in my soul... Every piece of my soul has become one with his. He lives in my body... Every touch I feel him, in every kiss I crave him. Every embrace I want him, in every moment I yearn him. I can't run from this temptation, no matter how hard I try. With him is nothing compared to being with you, In just silence with you is home. When he kisses me... It's your lips I imagine. Looking into your eyes was looking at myself. From perfection to second best. There is not enough tears to mourn your loss. How do I tell him, I'm lost in you?

Poem: I don't know how to let you go

You use to say fate brought us together. That was the only explanation that came to mind to explain this attraction... This chemistry... This uniting of our souls.

Every moment with you to form these memories is torture to see these images replay in my mind. But hard to imagine who I would be without them.

I'm constantly reminded by my common sense that I don't know how to let you go.

When we touch... life stops and our souls recognizes each other presence in our bodies. The desire that neither one of us could escape were expressed through the pressing of our lips.

The yearning to be near you is sometimes unbearable. The thought of never seeing your face or feeling the warmth of your body close to mines is painful.

I'm constantly reminded by my heart that I don't know how to let you go.

At some point, we fell in love with each other. This fire grows that lives inside of us. Deep within I know I only exist for you.

We wasn't ready for each other. We are always changing, sometimes too much. Then it's the fear that dwells in us... Fear of hurt, fear of loving, fear of others.

But, I'm constantly reminded by my soul that I don't know how to let you go.

Our souls tied as one but our bodies live separate lives. Our hearts crys for each other but our mouths say we can't be together. Our eyes burn with want for each other but we are blinded by other faces.

We go on pretending that we would never work. We hide the pain of seeing each other try to move on. We fight the tears that want to leave our eyes because we can't let it bother us. We become strangers to each other because distance will eventually numb us. We say mean words to push each other away. We do what ever we have to do so we don't have to feel.

If we cannot be together... How do I let you go?

Love I want❤

When one kiss goodbye isn't enough
When a hug is a sweet embrace as we melt into one
When compliments are a normality and sweet words are our specialty 
When time has no limit nor do we want it to when we are together
When chills goes down my spine when you smile at me
When seeing your text and hearing your voice is the happiest moment of my day
When your touch causes my heart to rapidly beat and set my free at the same time
When listening becomes a priority and laughing becomes our hobby
When butterflies awaken in my stomach from your kisses
When communication is our number one problem solver
When staying together is our number one mission
When love is our life long motivation

Do real friendships & relationships still exist?

It seem all "realness" is slowly fading away concerning friendships & relationships. No one is as loyal to or committed in preserving what two people share anymore. Forgiveness is at a all time low, nobody wants to fight for people they care about anymore. It's all about how they feel or how much they feel offended, that caring about another person feelings or understanding their point of view is not important. We truly live in the most selfish, self interest, self indulging period in human history. We unappreciated the good in someone and celebrate the bad. It's almost like people feel more alive messing up good friendships and relationships than they get pleasure from enjoying them.

At one time period, friendship with someone was like having another brother or sister. Sometimes that person was even closer. Y'all spent time together, talk together, shared memories. But when y'all fought... Hours later y'all was close again like nothing happened. Yea, people held grudges but not on the level it is nowadays, people hold grudges for decades. The word friendship have no meaning anymore because everybody have an hidden agenda. Nobody want to work to build and keep a good bond with one another, or cherish each other presence in their lives. Everybody want it their way, if you not doing what they want you to do then they kicking you to the curve or slowly pushing you away.

It's even worst for relationships. The value of real relationships is at -20. Nobody in this broken society gives 100 percent to their mate in relationships. You get what you get and when you aren't getting it anymore, you move on to the next. People are not investing energy, time, and communication to their love ones. Again, you get what you get... If its not enough... Oh well. Love isn't strong intimately like in the old days (I know I'm young lol), whereas, your girl was your girl and your man was your man and nothing was messing that up. Yes, cheating always existed but was it really like it is now? People are having sex like STD's are a thing of the past. Loyalty... What loyalty? Commitment... What commitment? Honesty... That been dead.

Married couples are acting single, like vows don't matter. Couples in relationships are basically sex buddies. And single people are lonely as hell because they are scared to get involve with anyone because the values in relationships are not taken seriously. So most single people rather just mess around to barely get their needs met.

There is so much confusion going around because nobody knows what they want from another. And unfortunately game playing is the safest way not to get hurt. People always say they want the real deal but they just are not willing to get it and keep working to keep it. Once people get something good they let it fall on the back burner. If something is lacking or missing in a person there is no more compromising. It seems everything that is invaluable is not valued and everything that is not valuable is treated like it is.

So on that note, if you feel you have something real with somebody (friendship or relationship) work to keep it. If you feel you don't have anything real but family keep your family close. If you feel you have absolutely nothing real... All I can say is start building a true relationship with God and pray someone extraordinary enter into you life.
Until next time:)

Astronomy 101: We are all connected

There's a video to this which is amazing.... Called [Neil DeGrasse Tyson - The Most Astounding Fact] on YouTube.

Background for anyone who doesn't know him from Wikipedia:
"American astrophysicist and science communicator. He is currently the Frederick P. Rose Director of the Hayden Planetarium at the Rose Center for Earth and Space, and a research associate in the department of astrophysics at the American Museum of Natural History. Since 2006 he has hosted the educational science television show NOVA scienceNOW on PBS, and has been a frequent guest on The Daily Show, The Colbert Report, Real Time with Bill Maher, and Jeopardy!. It was announced on August 5, 2011, that Tyson will be hosting a new sequel to Carl Sagan's Cosmos: A Personal Voyage television series."

So in this video he was asked a question and he explained our connection to the universe... Wish I could post the video instead. But what an amazing answer he gave.

[Question]
What is the most astounding fact you can share with us about the Universe?


[Neil deGrasse Tyson, Ph.D. (October 5, 1958)] Source: LYBIO.net
The most astounding fact is the knowledge that the atoms that comprise life on Earth the atoms that make up the human body are traceable to the crucibles that cooked light elements into heavy elements in their core under extreme temperatures and pressures. These stars, the high mass ones among them went unstable in their later years they collapsed and then exploded scattering their enriched guts across the galaxy guts made of carbon, nitrogen, oxygen and all the fundamental ingredients of life itself. These ingredients become part of gas cloud that condense, collapse, form the next generation of solar systems stars with orbiting planets, and those planets now have the ingredients for life itself. So that when I look up at the night sky and I know that yes, we are part of this universe, we are in this universe, but perhaps more important than both of those facts is that the Universe is in us. When I reflect on that fact, I look up – many people feel small because they’re small and the Universe is big – but I feel big, because my atoms came from those stars. There’s a level of connectivity. That’s really what you want in life, you want to feel connected, you want to feel relevant you want to feel like a participant in the goings on of activities and events around you That’s precisely what we are, just by being alive…

Neil DeGrasse Tyson – "When I look up at the night sky and I know that yes, we are part of this universe, we are in this universe, but perhaps more important than both of those facts is that the Universe is in us."

Until next time:)

Bible 101: Is masturbation sinful?

The act of masturbation is not mention in the bible, therefore, it can't be label sinful or not, good or evil. The use of sex toys cannot even be discuss because none of it is mentioned in the bible. As we should know, the bible was written a long time ago, so alot of topics we face now is anyone's guess but if God can only label something sinful or not then I guess it's no ones guess.

Carm.org says:
"The Bible does not discuss masturbation at all.  This seems a little odd since it is such a strong and prevalent human event.  And, given that Leviticus has so much to say about sexuality, one would think it natural that the subject would be covered.  But it isn't.  Masturbation is not specifically declared to be sinful.  Nevertheless, we must be cautious to pronounce something to be sinful or not sinful when God has not discussed it.  Therefore, we have to derive principles from scripture on related sexual issues and see if we can wisely apply them to the subject of masturbation.

First of all, sex was created by God for procreative purposes, physical enjoyment, and the demonstration of intimacy between a husband and a wife.  In this context, the sexual act is intended to occur in a healthy marriage relationship between husband and wife in purity and holiness.  In contrast to this, masturbation is the self-stimulation to the point of sexual release without the gifting of a spouse.  It would seem that masturbation is a denial of the sexual design of God for couples.  But, is it sinful?  Again, answering this question is difficult because the Bible does not pronounce it as sin.  Nevertheless, there is the principle of purity that is obvious true.  Does masturbation fall under the category of purity?"

Again, speculation because it's a missing topic. If males and females was doing it in the old & new testament, they definitely did not talked about it at all.

Webmd.com says:
"...Masturbation is a very common behavior, even among people who have sexual relations with a partner. In one national study, 95% of males and 89% of females reported that they have masturbated. Masturbation is the first sexual act experienced by most males and females."

"...masturbation now is regarded as a normal, healthy sexual activity that is pleasant, fulfilling, acceptable, and safe. It is a good way to experience sexual pleasure and can be done throughout life"

"In general, the medical community considers masturbation to be a natural and harmless expression of sexuality for both men and women. It does not cause any physical injury or harm to the body, and can be performed in moderation throughout a person's lifetime as a part of normal sexual behavior. Some cultures and religions oppose the use of masturbation or even label it as sinful. This can lead to guilt or shame about the behavior.

Some experts suggest that masturbation can actually improve sexual health and relationships. By exploring your own body through masturbation, you can determine what is erotically pleasing to you and can share this with your partner. Some partners use mutual masturbation to discover techniques for a more satisfying sexual relationship and to add to their mutual intimacy."

Not only is it normal and healthy to do but it improves sperm and a wide range of animals masturbate.

Theslate.com says:
"...Surely what works for God will work for Nature, too: Since masturbation improves fertility, then it ought to be a prime target for natural selection. That is to say, any animal that evolves the ability or inclination for self-pleasure will end up with healthier sperm, and more offspring, than its competitors. Indeed, if you take the theory of evolution seriously—as the Catholic Church has since February—then you might expect that all animals masturbate, or at least all animals with a reproductive system sufficiently like our own..."

"...hairy palms abound in the animal kingdom. (Wikipedia offers a good summary of the evidence.) Dogs, cats, lions, bears, and a number of other mammals self-stimulate with their front paws; randy walruses use their flippers. Horses and donkeys, whose masturbatory habits have been particularly well-studied, engage in "rhythmic bouncing, pressing, or sliding of the erect penis against the abdomen" (PDF); male deer do the same. The 19th-century physiologist Karl Friedrich Burdach has even described something like female ejaculation among solitary mares, which "rub themselves against whatever obstacles they find, often spurting a white, viscous mucus." A bull, meanwhile, stimulates itself by alternately protruding its penis from a genital sheath, while some moose can ejaculate simply by rubbing their antlers on bits of vegetation. According to observations made at the University of Buffalo in the 1940s, both male and female porcupines manipulate their genitals with inanimate objects—

Needless to say, many animals engage in self-directed oral sex.
Our fellow apes are among the most ardent and industrious masturbators: Female orangutans have been observed to fashion primitive dildos from sticks or pieces of liana, while males stimulate themselves with pieces of fruit, leaves, or other objects. Although it's sometimes said that only mammals masturbate, we have clear examples of autoeroticism among birds, which rub their cloacae on whatever's handy. Turtles have also been observed in the act."

My conclusion: I agree with science, so get acquainted with yourself and have fun.

Until next time:)